Thankfully, people are much more accepting of the LGBTQ community these days. But this doesn’t mean that everyone has an easy time coming out.

Maybe you have family members who are less than accepting of LGBTQ individuals. Or you may already have strained relationships with your parents or siblings and worry that coming out will complicate things even more.

But even if your family isn’t explicitly supportive, you may feel like you’re ready to come out anyway. After all, most people want to feel like they can be their true-self around their loved ones.

If you’re worried about backlash, here are a few tips to make the coming out process easier on you.

Reach Out to Your Friends Firstadults hugging abandoned art building

If you’re worried that your family members will have a negative reaction to you coming out, you’ll want to talk to some people who you know will be supportive first. Reach out to friends or other people you trust, like a teacher or a mentor, who already know. Tell them you need them to have your back. Ask a friend who has already come out what their process was like.

Haven’t told any of your friends yet? That’s okay too. There are plenty of online spaces where you can find LGBTQI+ support from those who have been where you are. In this community, you’re never alone.

Take Baby Steps

You don’t have to sit down with your entire family and tell them all at once. Sure, part of you might just want to get it over with. But if the thought of doing that makes your palms sweat, you can start small.

Instead of making a family-wide announcement, you could come out to your family members one by one. Perhaps you could even start with those who you think will be the most accepting. For example, if you have a sibling who seems fairly open-minded in comparison to your parents, you might want to tell them first.

Find Your Comfort Zone

Is the thought of telling your family face-to-face anxiety-inducing? If the answer is yes, you might want to consider telling them in a different way. Remember, you have every right to prioritize your own comfort and well-being in this situation.

Instead of having a conversation with family members in person, you could write down all of your feelings in a letter or an email. You could even make a video for them to watch if you wanted. The first uploaded YouTube coming out video is believed to have been uploaded in 2006. Since then there have been countless uploads and views and countless ways of doing it. Many people prefer to come out in person to close friends and family before posting a coming out video on YouTube. Choose the method that works best for you.

Be Patient

There’s a chance that your family members may be more accepting than you expected or even say, “Yeah. I knew that.” But if they aren’t, time may help. They may have a lot of questions. For a little while, it might even feel like you’re growing apart from them, and you may worry that your relationships will be forever changed.

Be very patient with your family and do your best to educate and inform. Direct them to any helpful resources that explain what it means to be LGBTQ. Plenty of people let go of their biases and become more progressive with time.

Talk to a Therapist

Feel like you need some solid professional advice before you come out? Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist.

A therapist who understands the unique concerns of the LGBTQ community can help you navigate your coming out process. They can be a source of support, clarity, and strength during this difficult time. And if you want your siblings or parents to attend a session with you, some therapists will offer family therapy.

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Thinking about coming out to your family and want to talk to someone before you take that step? Contact me today to see how LGBTQI+ friendly therapy can help you come out with confidence.

Click to download a copy of How to Come Out When Your Family Is Less Than Accepting of You.